Do you ever hear “those” songs and almost instantly you get that lump in your throat? Or you hear a song that brings back a flood of memories and you smile, or you laugh until you cry, or you just remember where you were when you first heard it and just be at peace for that moment? Music could almost be listed as one of my love languages, but Gary Chapman didn’t have a chapter on it. Music has been a part of my life since I was little. Grandma would pound on the piano to be my metronome as I would practice, I would sing harmonies with my mom to any song, my Grandma and Grandpa would always dance, and if we are all a little honest… what good tailgate, gravel road party, or club doesn’t have MUSIC?
This update isn’t about my love for music but it will be woven throughout as it truly is the harmony to our lives. First off, if you remember back a few blogs ago a girl I met from Iowa that was also having Mono Mono twins had lost one twin and was going to Minnesota at 17 weeks (that was when I got the lump in my throat and decided to make in impromptu stop at the OB’s clinic to hear heartbeats). Unfortunately, at 19 weeks she was admitted to the hospital and had to deliver as she lost the other baby as well. PLEASE keep her in your prayers. Honestly, I can’t imagine the feelings that she is trying to process. At the top of my list would be WHY? Why, God, did you give me two babies to take them both away?? Why did you put life inside of me only to have it end?? Why would you make my first pregnancy end this way? Those are all questions the maker will have a chance to answer when I get to the pearly gates…. But until then I will keep him busy with my prayers.
This week we had a regular MFM appointment. They did a quick scan of each baby and took blood flow data. The twins’ aunt Nikky got to come and see the little squirts move all around and we identified one as being Wilson and one Russell. Wilson, so politely, kept sitting on Russell’s head. I asked the other week if my babies are going to come out all bruised and dented like a golf ball from them beating on each other…. The sonographer assured my they wouldn’t, but I am beginning to wonder. While Nikky was here for a couple days she was a HUGE help in getting a ton of painting done. I just want things to be perfect and updated before the twins get home. And I know… perfect will never happen and updates are never-ending!
The next two weeks are a couple big tests at the MFM. They will be doing TTTS scans of each baby, growth scans, and fetal echos. They break up the fetal echos because of the length of time it takes to do each scan, so one baby next week and one the following week. The tests will show if there are any abnormalities or concerns regarding the heart. They might not necessarily do any surgery right now but they can have the neonatal cardiac team informed and ready when the babies do arrive.
A few songs that always bring up memories… and these are in no particular order.
1- I Think We’re Alone Now… and of course I bust out the dance moves, right Brooke?
2- Valentine… forever and always will remind me of Grandpa Bing- love and miss him dearly
3- You Are My Sunshine- Grandma Jo! She is my sunshine when the clouds are grey
4- Roll Out The Barrel- Grandma and Grandpa- always in the car on the way to the lake
5- Wrecking Ball- Summer nights at the lake… crank it up loud and floating on the water
6- Loves Me Like Jesus Does- Our wedding dance and another Eric Church hit
7- Girls Just Wanna Have Fun- All my girls!!
8- Overcomer- This song got me through some serious tough times in my life!
9- Roads- Grandma Jo- best grandma any girl could ask for!!
10- Fighter- College days. Christina’s big hit and a classic in my book
Lately the two songs that stop me in my tracks are “Take Courage” and “No Longer Slaves”. Two songs that stir up so emotion. Our sermon series at church is on Risk. Taking risks. On the other side of risk is reward. On the other side of our waiting is a blessing. Personally, as I wait between doctors appointments or as I wait to finally reach 24 WEEKS…. I have to remind myself I am in the waiting and two huge blessings will be here after all of this is over. I have to hold to my hope as my triumph unfolds, He’s in the waiting. I can’t forget his great faithfulness, He’ll finish all He’s began. I think this is true for a lot of people… maybe you are in the waiting… walking that seeming-less endless desert and trudging along not sure if you can take one more step, not knowing that that one step was the final step, the desert was over and the risk was worth it. Take the risk. Eat the cake. Just don’t give up. If He put the desire in your heart, the thought in your mind, then take the risk to follow it through. Job promotion? A business venture? Addressing a family issue? God will split the seas so you can walk right through it, He’ll drown your fears in perfect love.
As you finish out your week…… listen for the subtle reminders from Him about risks. I know I am not alone about being in the waiting, I’m guessing some of you are too, just know you are not alone. And while the other Momo mom continues to process, please pray for her and the many other women who have loved and lost their babies, I can not imagine the pain and emptiness, you all are special and amazing women!
Erica, Baby A and Baby B
Bethel Music, Kristene DiMarco
Slow down, take time Breath in He said He'd reveal what's to come The thoughts in His mind Always higher than mine He'll reveal all to come
Take courage my heart Stay steadfast my soul He's in the waiting He's in the waiting Hold onto your hope As your triumph unfolds He's never failing He's never failing Sing praise my soul Find strength in joy Let His Words lead you on Do not forget His great faithfulness He'll finish all He's begun
So take courage my heart Stay steadfast my soul He's in the waiting He's in the waiting Hold onto your hope As your triumph unfolds He's never failing He's never failing Take courage my heart Stay steadfast my soul He's in the waiting He's in the waiting Hold onto your hope As your triumph unfolds He's never failing He's never failing
And You who hold the stars Who call them each by name Will surely keep, Your promise to me That I will rise, in Your victory And You who hold the stars Who call them each by name Will surely keep, Your promise to me That I will rise, in Your victory!
So take courage my heart Stay steadfast my soul He's in the waiting He's in the waiting And hold onto your hope Watch your triumph unfold He's never failing He's never failing
So take courage my heart Stay steadfast my soul He's in the waiting He's in the waiting And hold onto your hope Watch your triumph unfold He's never failing He's never failing! He's in the waiting Waiting